Thirteen

If You Go into the Woods Today...

Since the removal of the Black Hole at the start of the 2005 season, Alton Towers was missing something another true family coaster. Compared to the parks big rides at the time (Nemesis, Air, Oblivion and soon to be opened Rita) the only family coasters were the Runaway Mine Train, which whilst fun, is on the tamer side of the spectrum, Spinball Whizzer (later Sonic Spinball) which was a true family coaster, a big enough ride for the smaller members of the family and thrilling enough for the people who were used to riding Nemesis and the like all day. Finally we had Corkscrew, the iconic coaster that started it all off, 25 years ago, which had become a family coaster by default simply because the others were a lot more extreme. 

The hype for Thirteen had begun

When Alton Towers announced that the Corkscrew would be retired and a new coaster would replace it at the end of the 2008 season, it made the news. It actually made national UK news, this would ultimately the start of the hype regarding the new ride. Corkscrew was cutting edge in the early 1980s within the UK, on opening day, they had to close the Theme Park as it was just too busy. Therefore, its replacement had to be cutting edge for it to be any kind of replacement. A reintroduction of the SW tag (Secret Weapon) only helped to build the hype in 2009, a tagline only used for the parks biggest of coasters (Nemesis was SW3, Oblivion was SW4, Air was SW5 and this new ride would become SW6)

Jump forward now to the present day, and the hype regarding Thirteen, 13, or Th13teen (however you want to write it) has died down, when compared to opening day 2010 and is all the better for it.

Located in the Dark Forest (not to be confused with the similarly sounding Gloomy Wood at the other end of the park) one thing is really noticeable compared to any other major coaster at a Merlin theme park. You can hardly see any of it! Your best view of it, is from by the cable cars, where the big drop comes into view. Apart from a couple of other instances (by the Burger Kitchen in Cloud Cuckoo Land and in Rita's queue) you have no idea what to expect. If the overall theme of the area, is this forest taking over, a ride on Thirteen, certainly fits.

The queueline for Thirteen, is exactly in the same place where the queue for Corkscrew was (infact the Single Rider and Fasttrack queue is exactly the same queue as Corkscrew's) and the main queue ventures into the woodland. Apart from a few bits of ruins with roman numerals counting up to XIII (13) and a van being grabbed by some vines, the only form of entertainment you are going to get is by looking at Rita (which can get mixed up with get mixed up with Thirteen, for those that do not know.) Thankfully, despite the use of Fasttrack on the ride, it is one of the parks highest throughput rides, so whilst your queue may be long, you are never too much in the same place twice. The queueline music, unlike Nemesis, is meant to heighten up the tension, with sounds of branches, screams, a creepier segment of the "Teddy Bears Picnic", a segment of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" and a high tension original score that wouldn't sound too out of place on a creepy horror film.

When you get close to the station, you can see a bit more of the track, it is mainly the second lift hill but at the right time of year, you can see one of the banked turns. You get to the baggage hold, exchange your loose articles/bags for a wristband and you are in the station building. Compared to a lot of coasters in the UK, this is a well themed station, if not a little dark. It will take a bit for your eyes to readjust especially if it is sunny outside, thankfully, lessons have been learnt since Vampire, and there are a few more dim lights around to help you readjust quicker. A quick walk up the stairs and with writing on the walls, again quoting from the Teddy Bears Picnic, "if you go down into the woods today, you'd better not go alone" it helps final emersion of something creepy and not quite right. You then descend the steps, and ready to take your seat.

The trains are a little cramped, but are more roomier than Sonic Spinball, so if you can get into that no problem, Thirteen will seem rather comfortable. After a check of the restraints its time to set off. A small drop out of the station, and an unbanked turn, gives a surprising fast start to the coaster before the ascent up the lift hill. The tyre lift hill is surprisingly quick and quiet. At the top, you can see as far as Rugeley and Cannock Chase on a clear day, but there is no time to admire the Staffordshire countryside and the train makes a speedy decent down the biggest drop. 

Unfortunately, the train does not descend this drop as nature intended, with a brake located around half way down, limiting the speed. Whilst you still go fast at the bottom of the drop, it is very noticeable, especially when you are in the front half of the train. A 270 degree banked turn rises the coaster back over the first drop which then quickly lowers into another drop, offering a bit of negative G force (airtime) before another hill which offers a better opportunity of the same feeling weightlessness. Compared to Rita's forced and sometimes violent airtime, this is rather a watered down more natural. In the front of the train it is barely noticeable, at the back it is slightly more so.

Thirteen then does a miniature version of the S hill and drop like on Rita (which is what you can see from the queueline in the Spring and Autumn months) which again offers a slight pop of airtime before a final left turn onto the second lift hill. Like with the first lift, this is rather quick and speedy and a right hand turn leads into what was a world's first element when it opened, the drop.

This "event space" is well themed, with stone wraiths around the train, they may not look like Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, but it is a similar feel, as you know something is going to happen. After a couple of seconds a large sounding pop of air and a small couple of feet freefall drop. The lighting changes, and this odd screaming sound occurs, as you freefall the majority of the 20 odd foot, like on a drop tower. It is more powerful than you expect, again offering a slight bit of airtime. It does feel like the drop is only just going though when the brakes kick in, but it is powerful enough.

With a wraith waiting at the start of the train, it now reverses out of the event space, down a surprisingly steep but small drop. This is where the surprises really end though, as the rest of this bend just raises slowly, very coldly back into the outside. You enter what seems like a graveyard, the forward track switches so you can go forwards and you end up back in the station. 

Going back to the start of the review, Alton Towers were always in a catch 22 position with whatever ride replaced Corkscrew. Whilst Air, was always dubbed as a family coaster, the 1.4 Metre restriction says otherwise. Thirteen however is a true family roller coaster with a 1.2 Metre restriction but it was marketed to be something it was not; a coaster that would terrify you, one that you would only be able to ride once. It is a family coaster, with an iconic 30 odd feet of freefall track, combining a normal coaster with a drop tower, but if it was marketed as such, not only would it have given away the surprise, but I doubt it would've given Alton Towers its best attendance record since Nemesis in 1994. 

Expecting Thirteen to compete with Nemesis, Oblivion, Rita and to an extent Air, is wrong but unavoidable. It doesn't have the G Forces and the speed it did have going for it, got caught short early on the first drop. It nearly suffers the same problem that Oblivion did, it focus' on the drop section, however, unlike Oblivion where the drop is 50 to 60 metres, Thirteen's is only 20 to 30 feet. The coaster section before the drop, is good but woefully short and the reverse section feels long but apart from the initial steep drop feels slightly dull.

It is a shame as Thirteen overall is not a bad ride, it is actually a very good. At the annual scarefest event, it is the only ride where it is truly different in the dark, as apart from the camera flash, you cannot see where you are going until you enter the second lift hill and the ride begins to show its true colours.

But you cannot review a ride and give it a higher mark just because it is far better during a month of the year. Ultimately, comparing Thirteen to the three Secret Weapon's before it, is only going to cause disappointment, however, if you like fun rides, or have a smaller and younger member of the family with you, they will adore it, as it is a big step for them after the Runaway Mine Train and to a lesser extent Sonic Spinball and this is precisely what Alton Towers needed, a gap filler between the bigger and smaller coasters.

The Good:
- Fast moving queue
- Decent station and "event space" themeing
- Pops of airtime
- Overall the ride feels long
- Outdoor section fantastic in the dark
- It feels fast
- Good double drop on freefall section

The Bad: 
- Brakes on first drop
- Outdoor section is woefully short
- Not as much airtime is you might expect
- The backwards section is rather uneventful
- Freefall drop could be bigger
- It was a family coaster marketed for something it was never quite meant to be

The Verdict:
  
3.5/5