Valhalla

If Valhalla was a song, it would be sung by Wet Wet Wet

Valhalla
The original facade to Valhalla
Looking back, the year 2000 was a rather special time in the UK theme park scene. Yes, not many major coasters were built (the Millennium Roller Coaster at Fantasy Island, actually opened up in 1999) but the country probably had its best range of attractions built. Drop Tower fans had the World First Stand Up Tower Drop at Drayton Manor, Thorpe Park had its first major attraction under (then) Tussauds, Alton Towers had delved into its history and heritage and Pleasure Beach Blackpool went for spectacle, and even now all those years after, Valhalla is still one of the most spectacular dark rides the UK has ever seen.

Indoor water rides are not a new idea, Disney have the Pirates of the Caribbean and It's a Small World attractions and at the Pleasure Beach, there is the River Caves. In a lot of ways, Valhalla is River Caves for the new millennium but it does not quite pay off.

Enter ValhallaThe facade is impressive, or at least the parts you can see from straight on. The water cascading down the front and the giant skull, this is making a statement. The queueline, less so. It is basically a cattlegrid type queue just on the outside, where, if the wind is in the wrong place, you are likely to be slightly damp before you board the boat. With not much to keep you entertained, apart from a few bits of historical information about the local vikings.

Thankfully, throughput is usually quite good with the eight seater boats, so you are not likely to be hanging around in the same place too long. The station interior is a wood carved building, and it is a shame people don't notice it, as far as station ceilings go, it is certainly something you do not necessarily expect. The station is where, you get the first few tastes of what is about to come. By looking at the people leaving the boat, very few people leave dry or even damp. To add insult to injury, despite the fact staff members are trying to empty the boat of water with some type of vacuum cleaner, the boats are still a couple of centimetres (sometimes worse) full of water. Your feet are wet before you've even left the station

ValhallaThings do not get much better as soon as you leave the station, where if again, the wind is in an unfortunate direction, carrying the spray of water from the facade of the building over the boat. In an update of a River Caves effect, there is a second waterfall at the base of the skull, which should stop before you pass under it. With a lot more water being used than its much older brother, means that there are a few larger drips when you pass under. Once entered in the main building, it is time for your journey to begin.

As the boat enters, we hear the howling of the wind and barking of dogs. These dogs then appear from the sides, and the boat passes two cauldrons of fire, before we ascend the lift hill. This lift hill is rather dark, with seemingly nothing but a skull saying various inaudible things, apart from "Welcome to Valhalla!" before slow decomposing away into a skull. However, as I've said it was dark, and this projection is not the clearest so it is easier to miss. What you may not even realise is there also, is a rotating tunnel effect, the ones that with the right type of lighting make you feel like you are inverting, but your just in a straight line. Well, there is one of those also, but the lighting doesn't really highlight it. Which is a pity, as it could have been used to great effect.

Once we're on the top of the lift hill, the boat submerges back into the water, and quite violently, the boat turns around a bend, so much so, (along with many of these bends on the ride) if you are in the front, there will be quite a splash coming over to your legs.

Skull & Waterfall
Appearing to go through a cave, there are strobe lighting effects and on your right hand side, presumably Viking gods keeping a watchful eye on you. The temperature now starts to feel a bit more humid, and another face literally pops up in the cave themeing. The boat goes around to the right, and the reason for the humidity is now evident, as you are going through some sort of steam room. The boat carries on going straight on and turns slightly to the right, and now we have waterfalls beside us, nothing too much to get us terrifically wet, just a few splashes. A couple of well placed holes in the ceiling mind, are likely to get you wet however. Suddenly, the artificial lighting turns into natural lighting, as we find ourselves looking out over the Pleasure Beach. We stop, we move forward and stop quite suddenly. The boat now moves 45 degrees to your left, and you come to the first drop, which is a backwards one.

For those that have been to Drayton Manor, and ridden Stormforce 10 (which was the UKs first backward drop Log Flume) might be expecting something rather impressive here, especially as you've already seen how wet fellow riders are coming off at the station. But no, this is disappointing, the backwards drop only seems like 10 or so feet. You may get a bit of a splash back, but nothing like Stormforce 10. The boat then proceeds to the other turntable, and the rest of the journey is now taken forwards.

Rock SkeletonThe next room that follows, is a complete contrast to the last room you were in before the backwards drop, its cold, very cold. Presumably, meaning to represent a Scandinavian winter, there is real ice around here. We're not in here for too long and the boat turns to the left. Time for drop No. 2.

The drop itself is largely taken in the dark, and it takes you by surprise. Compared to the backwards drop, only a couple of minutes previous, this one will get you a "healthy" dose of splash. If not, you soon will be, as you are now in the part of the ride that throws water at you left, right and centre.

Straight ahead of you is a water vortex, where powerful waterjets are creating a circle around the water channel, however, water does agree with the laws of gravity, so as you pass through, you are all but guaranteed for a soaking.

The boat continues further, before another one of those sharp bends to the right, in a similar effect to the entrance waterfall, and again, it still drips on you after it has been switched off.

Valhalla at NightThe boat now enters another dimly lit section of the ride, as it climbs the second and final lift hill. Like with the first lift hill, there is nothing much really to keep your attention going apart from a skull chandelier that is swinging above you.

Once at the top, the themeing continues, as two very large vikings await you. As we submerge back into the water, another of those sharp bends to the right occur, before, what looks like some kind of siege machine starts to rise up by you. As you enter through it, it releases, and another bucket full of water comes at you from both sides.

Carrying on with this theme of weaponry, we are now being fired at with flaming arrows and some kind of rotating blade device comes over our heads. We go into darkness once again and turn to the left. Now, its very similar to how we started the ride, but instead of the dogs it is now crows squawking in the wind. Unfortunately, this scene is broken with "Please Brace Yourself for the Next Drop"

The third drop is a double drop, but with the hill being a lot further down, than Loggers Leap at Thorpe and Stormforce 10 at Drayton. In the front row, you may get a glimpse of a very good effect, of a line of fire across the water. This drop, is certainly again a wet one. It certainly is not any drier than the second drop.

Leaving the Viking Afterlife
In what can only be deemed as an explosive finale, the boat now travels through what can seem to be some kind of Viking Crematorium, with explosions of fire happening right by you. Thankfully, with how wet you are, even on the warm days, this feels quite nice!

All of a sudden, we leave the building and we realise how cold the North West of England can be, just as they take our photo. However, there is one last bit of wetness, a vertical water cannon, to make sure we are actually wet by the time we return into the station. Trying to walk normally with how wet we actually got.

One of the main problems that Valhalla suffers with  is the frequency of the effects inside. Whilst on most occasions, the big effects will work, the experience is severely effected when they don't and that is quite common.

Is Valhalla one of the greatest water rides in the country? It is up in the top 5, when everything is working, however, the backwards drop is just pitiful and the corners are just too violent, and as such they do get you wet on the ride, where you are not supposed to get wet. It does however, give you a rather impressive assortment of effects, such as the fire and ice, which are so very rarely seen on the UK theme/amusement park scene. Is it one of the greatest in the world? Not really, when compared to things like Pirates of the Caribbean, Valhalla cannot compare in the story telling.

Valhalla, is what I'd like to call, your typical summer blockbuster. It throws everything it can at you, Fire, Ice, Steam and Water, but there is next to no plot, or narrative with what is actually happening. It is entertaining, in its own way, and despite being far too wet in the country, it is one you need to ride once, but for some once may just be enough. Add to it, the effects that don't always work, Valhalla, unfortunately falls short of the best water ride in the world.

The Good:
- Excellent for a Hot Day
- Decent moving queue
- Fire and Ice effects, so very rarely seen in the UK
- The two forward drops are forceful
- 6 Minute Ride

The Bad: 
- Awful for a Cold Day
- You can get soaked before you've even sat in the boat
- The boats are often already filled with water
- The violent bends
- Unpredictability of the effects
- What is the actual story?
- Poor lighting in a couple of scenes
- The backwards drop is a wasted opportunity


The Verdict:
  
3/5


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